


Every Good Bumbler Has a Beginning

by SonjaJade



Category: Dark Tower - Stephen King
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-07 19:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our beloved Oy was once something else before joining Roland, Jake, Eddie and Susannah. Something very special indeed!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Good Bumbler Has a Beginning

As the "billy bumbler" slept, his dreams were plagued by nightmares. Unfortunately, this had become the rule rather than the exception. His aching little feet and legs twitched uncontrollably in his sleep as he relived the horrors of the past. His golden ringed eyes fluttered, his lips curled relentlessly, his corkscrewed tail would tighten into a coil and then almost straighten…

Finally he woke himself barking, and then ended up startling himself when he stepped in a cold mud puddle. His brain struggled to find the balance between reality and the dreamscape. He sat panting in the tiny little spring cave that he had found for the night. His stomach growled, and deciding to give up sleeping for the night, he opted to find something to eat instead.

It had been almost three weeks since his clan had sent him out. Well, that was putting it mildly. It'd been a coup really. See, in this world that was falling apart, it was hard to recall any day when a "bumbler" had been no more than a pet or a simple rat catcher, equal in status to a dog or cat. In actuality, that crude name of a "billy bumbler" was, at one time, a derogatory term among Gan's intelligent little critters. The true name of this once proud race is the Cotja.

The Cotja were very beloved to Gan, who created the race from the last remaining bits of creation. When he had created the first one, known as Murru in Cotja legend, Gan smiled and said "Little one, do not be discouraged at your motley mix of appearance. You shall be endeared by all, because I am going to give you a special gift." Gan lightly rested his finger on the Cotja in his hand and said, "You will have the ability to maintain peace among all you come in contact with. You will be found adorable by those most accustomed to beauty or ugliness, you will be found intelligent by those accustomed to sheer brilliant minds or dullards, and you will be found most loyal to those accustomed to loyal vassals or to those whom have found no one to cling to." With a wave of his hand, Gan created a special forest to the south of the Tower, which at that time was white. "I give you this forest to call your domain. Within it are trees that will grow blue leaves. These are sacred reminders to you that even though you look different than most creatures, you are special. These trees will allow you to communicate with anyone, regardless of their tongue. I entrust you with the world's peace." Gan set the first pair of Cotja in the forest, and all progressed as it should.

And as was set down, the Cotja did exactly as Gan said they should. They grew from just two to over two hundred after only three generations. They were peaceful and always learning and growing. They lived undisturbed for almost one hundred years before the first of the creatures Gan referred to as "Humans" came. And as was told, the little creatures were well received, and they communicated quite easily as long as both parties were under the umbrella of the sacred trees.

As years went on, the Cotja began to fight among each other. Some wanted to abandon their position as "mediators" between the Humans. Some wished to expand their knowledge and transcend time and space and become guardians of the Tower. Some even wished to revolt against the Humans and raise up a glorious kingdom of Cotja bred royalty. This tension led to the dissolution of the race into clans, and some clans were bitter rivals.

The Jenska clan was hell bent on changing their race. They desired to be larger and more like the Dominators they so frequently held palaver and counsel with. They had some brilliant minds among them, and they labored to find a way to increase the size of their offspring and force them to walk upright. They tried to cheat evolution by crudely fashioning surgical tools and performing dead-end surgeries to contort the body into a more Human fashion. The Jenska clan died out sooner than all of the others in their impatience, leaving behind machines that no one understood and medicines that were no more helpful than poison.

The Yenoli clan remained guardians to the sacred blue trees and the original purpose of the Cotja race, at least until the Guissan clan destroyed any tree they found. They were proprietors of raising a mighty kingdom up from nothing, and then taking the world for themselves. They slaughtered whoever did not stand with them. Even the peaceful Focci clan who desired to guard all levels of the tower. They sat and meditated in small grass huts, trying to enter the void of the Prim with their mind and soul, and when the elements destroyed their shelter, they moved on.

This fighting went on and on for centuries. The only clans left were the Guissan and the Hudenze, which was made up of stragglers from the Yenoli and Focci clans. The Hudenze lived a simple life trying to find a way to regrow the sacred trees, and return to being Gan's little peacekeepers once again. Since the trees had been destroyed, none of the Humans came anymore. So the forest was quiet once again. Not being able to talk to the Humans, and not being confident enough to join the dwindling army, many set out on their own, finding work as household pets, jokesters for nobility, or simple rat catchers. These that left found happiness.

Then one afternoon, about 50 years ago, the entire world shuddered. It felt like someone was riding a bicycle downhill at top speed and had suddenly thrown the brake on. The sun faltered in the sky, drifting a little to the north that day, and then just as suddenly as it had happened, it felt like it was over. This was the exact moment when "the world moved on." The tower which had stood since the beginning of existence in the center of Mid World went black, as if the blood of the earth had been cut off from it. Time started passing in a longer stretch, and a few weeks later, the directions of the compass fell askew as well. What used to take about an hour walk to get to, now took half a day, which meant the earth was stretching as well.

It was then that the effort to maintain an army ceased, and finally the last surviving clans rejoined and waited for Gan to take them all back inside of him. They all lived fairly peacefully as farmers in their forest, and simply waited for the world's light to be snuffed out.

This starving and injured little Cotja is named Kixarro, and he was the prince and heir apparent. His father was the grandson of the Yenoli clan's leader, and was the official ruler of the Cotja race. Kixxaro had planned to remain in the forest, and continue to have his tribe keep living while praying for a merciful end when the world stopped turning. However, there were those around him who felt the urge to rise up and become an opposing force once again. He worked hard to quell their anger and encourage them to live peacefully until the end. Unfortunately, they didn't care much for peace, not when the world was winding down and all was in upheaval.

"Prince Kixxaro, don't you think that we could be better off in safer territory?" Frenato, one of Kixxaro's vassals asked. "The forest grows larger and larger every day, it is taking longer and longer to get to a fresh water source. I fear we will die of thirst or famine before the world stops turning."

Kixxaro only smiled at her. "If it is Gan's wish that we die in our beds of thirst or famine, I think we should consider this to be the mercy we are praying for."

"I don't understand, my prince."

"Well," the young Cotja began, "if Gan's plans are to stretch the world to it's limits and cause it to explode in a rain of fire and ash, I would consider a slow death in my sleep much more merciful than the fear of fire or being swallowed by the very earth I sleep on. We will hold out as long as Gan wants us to." Kixxaro put a paw on Frenato's shoulder. "Don't be afraid to die, friend. Gan will not treat us without love when it happens. We are his special creatures."

Frenato growled low in respectful response and left her lord to go meet with Urri. Urri was an albino Cotja, and thought to be the reincarnation of the Guissan's first clan leader, Orosoo. And true to his past life, he wanted to raise up an army and take their rightful place as a Dominator.

"Bah! Is he still prattling on about accepting our fate?" he bellowed when Frenato told him of what was said. "Stupid fool! Here we stand on the edge of our future, and he wants us to just..just.. _drown_ in our past! To just drown in a past that we don't even know if it ever existed!" He stood now on his hind legs, hackles raised like barbs. "I have had enough of this!" He paced the room, walking very much like a Dominator. He never wobbled or misstepped. He was confident in his stride and made no move to hide his two-legged walk. Eventually, he sat down again, looking out the opening of the cave he lived in, brooding and angry.

"Murder him," he said flatly. "His father too. Bring his sisters and my best men to me."

Frenato trembled slightly. She knew Urri was furious, but had no idea that he would stoop to murdering Kixxaro over what was essentially a spiritual disagreement. An older Cotja in the back of the cave began shivering in fear, causing her teeth to clatter together.

"Urri, are you su-" With one blindingly fast whoosh of white fur, Urri had slain the frightened old crone and turned to face Frenato, blood dripping from his face and claws and covering his white fur in one large red stain.

"Why do you stand and question me so! Be off!" He returned to the old crone and ate the flesh from her body as it steamed in the cool night air. Frenato turned and scurried out of the cave and down the hollow log where Urri kept his men huddled together.

Later that night, when the air was thick with misty fog and the moon slept behind heavy clouds, Frenato crept back Kixxaro's grass hut with 6 of Urri's best men. As they got closer, Frenato could hear the light snores of the family and she signaled for her group to be quiet. They padded in silently, stopping in their tracks when one of the sleeping would turn over or cough. When they were all in position, Frenato gave a quick hiss as the four sisters were quickly grabbed and silenced. Once those 8 were gone, all that remained were Kixxaro and his nearly ancient father, and each slept with a murderous assassin just inches away.

Kixxaro had the best nose of his family. The scent of his sisters' fear had invaded his dream but it wasn't enough to rouse him. He dreamt of a smoke filled grass hut that had caught fire from a lightning strike, and he couldn't get out of the hut quick enough. The hut was flaming and raining down on him and his family, and he was absolutely powerless. He could feel the burning in his throat as he gasped for breath in the smoke. He felt dizzy. He heard a voice ringing in his brain as he burned saying 'IT IS NOT YET TIME FOR YOU' over and over and over, in a voice that was as old as time itself and as big as the sky. Finally the voice boomed ' **WAKE UP!** '

He sat straight up and startled the assassins. With the cloud of sleep still around him, he smelled that his sisters were all gone, and the scent of his father's blood was fresh. He sprang into action and began clawing at his enemies, who at this time were only shadows in a dark hut. One of them pounced on his back, but he rolled them off and slashed at his face and neck until he could no longer hear his breath. The other of the two had a death grip on his left flank. He couldn't shake him off and couldn't put him in enough pain to make him release his leg. Suddenly he felt the sharp teeth bite down even harder and jerk, and Kixxaro yelped in pain. He slashed at the air in a panic, and just when it seemed the pressure of the bite would surely break his leg in two, he heard a loud thud and then felt relief, as well as hot blood pouring down through his own fur to his skin.

Frenato heaved a sigh in the dark. She had hefted a large rock and shattered the skull of the Cotja who had grabbed Kixxaro's back leg. She began weeping in loud sobs and spilled the whole plot. She got her crying down to sniffles as she helped pull the leg biter off Kixxaro, and in an instant he was on the move to save his sisters. Frenato followed closely behind him, determined to atone for her horrible betrayal. The two Cotja burst into the cave just in time to see his sisters being raped at the hands of Urri and his "best" men. In a flurry of fur and claws and teeth, Frenato and Kixxaro flew into a heated rage, clashing with their mid-coitus enemies. Urri released the youngest and smallest of the sisters and battled one on one with Kixxaro himself.

"You idiot! Your sisters will do well to bear the next generation of warriors rather than die like cowards! Allow them to at least have some dignity in these last days as being courageous to our physical onslaught!" Urri yelled as he took a few dozen swipes at Kixxaro's injured leg.

"You speak of dignity?" Kixxaro growled as he leapt at the albino Cotja. "How could a vile being such as yourself even begin to understand what dignity is when you stand there raping a child!" He threw himself as hard as could, head first right into Urri's mouth, busting out his front teeth. Urri yowled in pain and rolled over on his side. Kixxaro stopped briefly for air, and raced back to Urri, teeth bared and claws aching for revenge.

He raked his bloody claws across Urri's middle, shredding the flesh there. Urri spat bits of broken teeth and blood as he screamed for mercy. He gave one last defiant kick to Kixxaro's face, but it was so weak that a newborn pup could have taken it. Urri had been gutted alive, and now he laid dead in the dirt of the ancient cave.

Now Kixxaro's attention turned from the albino in the dust to Frenato and her struggle with the others. She lay in the corner, softly growling and bleeding from her head. She had lost one of her eyes, and her front left leg lay mangled in 3 places. Everyone else had fled during the battle it appeared. Kixxaro went to where Freanto lay and tried to comfort her as best as he could.

"They took them," she wheezed. "Took them and left… going east of here. I don't think… they will get far." She whimpered a bit as she tried to shift her position to look Kixxaro in the eye. "The two younger sisters are badly hurt. We tried…" she was nearly gasping for breath, "tried to hurt them as bas as we could." Her eye was bleeding quite badly, and Kixxaro knew it would not be long now, she would be in Gan's hands soon. "Kixxaro, I am sorry for what I have done this night. He promised my family wealth and status if I helped. I can never make up for what I've done." She was beginning to make gurgling sounds. "It appears instead of death by thirst I am drowning in my own blood. You were right Kixxaro. What a peaceful end we all could have had…" She died silently, and Kixxaro was allowed a moment to grieve for a lost soul.

Soon afterward he had gone to the village elders and told them of what had happened. He said that since his father was murdered, he was now reigning over the clan, and his new orders were simple: every Cotja for himself. The time for fighting was over. The time for peace was over. In a world where time was literally running out, it was best that each person spent that time doing as they wished. He was going to spend his time searching for his sisters and their attackers.

And without delay he went straight into the east (or what he knew as east, for the world had moved on) following the scent of blood and tears through the tall grass. He moved for an entire day without stopping for rest. Eventually he collapsed under a shady tree and slept for quite a long time.

When he awoke he could no longer smell the trail he was so desperately chasing. It had gone completely cold, as if someone had disinfected the entire area of everything but the smell of the grass and trees. He sat staring at nothing for a while, trying to figure out what to do if he couldn't smell anything. He looked down at his leg, which was only slightly oozing blood now, due to the unexpected rest period it had mostly clotted up. He had scratches all over his body. He had also lost a fang somehow. Two of his claws on his right paw had broken off. He ached all over. He walked around the little clearing he had fallen asleep in and took visual stock in what he saw, trying to find any sign that could lead him to his sisters. He saw no spot of blood, no trace of anything that belonged to them, not even a tuft of hair on tree bark. His heart sank, feeling he would never see them ever again.

That night he ate a fish he caught in a stream and some berries. He sulked back to the shady tree and fell into a fitful sleep. The next day he moved out of the clearing, still heading east. He looked at everything at least twice, and sometimes thrice, looking for any sign of his family. It was slow going at this rate, and he was only about a mile from the shady tree when he ended his day. This went on for days. Endlessly searching by day, collapsing into nightmares at the end of his strength.

Tonight was no different. He woke after only about two hours rest. Now he had found a berry bush and was trying to calm his angry stomach. It was still a few hours before dawn. The exhausted and disheveled Cotja decided to fill his belly and then move on. He thought he was getting close because he had finally saw a small paw print in the mud, and it was shaped like his own. He was going to go in that direction today. Praise Gan for that small clue, the only clue he'd had since his journey began.

Kixxaro jogged in the direction of the paw print, having picked up a faint scent by the print itself. Whatever the smell was, it was getting stronger. His spirit was lifted immediately, and he held out hope that he might still find his sisters alive and well. He jumped over logs, raced through thick grasses, only pausing now to catch the scent again. Now he could smell his sisters' sweet smell on the grass, and so he practically whizzed along, anxious to catch up to them. By noon it seemed he had finally picked up the scent that had vanished almost a month before. Their smell was getting closer and closer. He was almost delirious with hope because that other male smell was dissipating. Just when it seemed he had almost reached them, he stopped dead in his tracks, smelling a new smell.

Blood.

He bounded ahead, his mind whirling at what he might find, but his heart needing to know. He was not prepared for what he would find. Kixxaro was a prince who had led a fairly easy life among his people, he had never dirtied his hands with violence until that fateful night with Urri, and he was naïve enough that he could not fathom what black hearts could do.

When he came to the clearing, he skidded to a stop. There they were, his four younger sisters, neatly laid side by side. They lay in a circle of light made from the parting in the forest canopy. Each of them had a mat made from grass over them with a single purple wildflower on top of the mat. Their arms held tiny pups that were bloody and still. Their eyes were dry looking, their fur dirty and matted as his own. It was a fairly respectful way to leave them, considering the way they were stolen in the first place even if the whole scene was for spite. Kixxaro sobbed at the sight of his youngest sister, Rilaa, because she was so tiny. Her pups appeared to be full term in comparison to her body size.

Not wanting to see, but needing to know, he gently pulled back her grass mat to see what he already knew must be there. Her abdomen had been shredded, and her pups had been ripped from her early to prevent any life from resulting in their horrid pairings. Kixxaro replaced the mat and wept loudly, wondering if his sisters all died at once or if they made them watch as one was murdered and then another. He took a moment to look at his unborn nieces and nephews, who were innocent of any wrong at all. He said a quick prayer over all of them and finally had to turn away. He stumbled out of the clearing and back into the forest. He lay by the shrinking stream and sobbed for a long time. So much death had come to him in the recent days. He decided it must be a sign for him to come home to Gan.

In the next few days after finding his sisters, Kixxaro stopped eating and drinking and gave his life into Gan's hands. He was plagued with nightmares and hallucinations as starvation set in. He was determined to die peacefully in his sleep, but would have gladly jumped off a cliff if one had been around. He tried running headlong into a boulder but all he succeeded in doing was giving himself a headache. He tried drowning himself in the stream but his instincts took over at the last minute. He could barely sleep because of the nightmares, and the hallucinations made him think he was being chased endlessly by the same savages that had raped, kidnapped, and then killed his sisters.

One morning, when he lay very close to Gan's hands indeed, he heard that same voice again in his head. 'KIXXARO. I SEE YOU VERY WELL MY SON. YOU CANNOT COME TO ME YET, FOR YOU'VE GOT A VERY IMPORTANT JOB TO DO.' The little Cotja felt he must be hallucinating again and he barked for it to go away. 'DO NOT TREAT ME SO, I AM NOT YOUR IMAGINATION. LISTEN, AND HEED ME WELL.' Now fully awake, and feeling more aware than he had in his entire life, his little ears perked up. 'YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO COME TO THE TOWER AND HELP RIGHT WHAT HAS GONE WRONG THERE. YOU CAN HELP STOP THE WORLD FROM MOVING ON.'

Kixxaro spoke in a gravelly voice, "But what use am I to anyone? I have lost everything that I care about in this world, why do I care if it moves on or not?"

'KIXXARO, YOU WILL FIND A YOUNG HUMAN BOY. HE HAS LOST EVERYTHING HE CARES ABOUT TOO, BUT WHAT IS WORSE IS THAT UNLIKE YOU, HE DOES NOT KNOW THIS PLACE. HE IS FROM ANOTHER LEVEL OF THE TOWER. HE HAS COME TO HELP THE GUNSLINGER.'

"Ha! I knew this was a trick! There are no gunslingers left in this world!" he cried out. And then in a flash of ingenuity, he realized he could claw himself to death. He held his paw before his face and saw how long they'd gotten, and how sharp they'd worn. He slowly scratched his throat from under his chin down to his collarbone, and realized he could end it all as long as his strength held out, as long as he had the strength to make a few well placed gouges, he could lie here and bleed to death peacefully.

'KIXXARO! I KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE JUST THOUGHT OF AND I WON'T ALLOW IT!' and with that all of his claws shattered from his paws, leaving him with sensitive nubs. 'YOU DARE NOT DEFY THE WORD OF GAN!'

Kixxaro began to cry. Here he was, in the middle of freaking nowhere, trying to kill himself by any means necessary because his entire family had been murdered, and this hallucination of his is calling himself Gan and telling him there's a gunslinger and a boy he has to help with the saving of the Tower. Nightmare after nightmare after nightmare. He had begun to toy with the idea that he was already dead and this was hell.

'LITTLE ONE, YOU ARE THE PROMISED RACE OF MY CREATURES. I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE UNTIL IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO BE WITH ME. IT IS ALMOST TIME FOR YOU TO MEET THEM. I WILL SHOW YOU THE BOY FIRST. YOU ARE TO BOND WITH HIM. HE WILL LOVE YOU AND TREAT YOU AS HIS OWN, AND YOU WILL RETURN THE FAVOR. THEN I WILL SHOW YOU THE GUNSLINGER. HE TOO HAS NO ONE IN THIS WORLD. ALL THAT HE LOVED HAS DIED AND TURNED TO DUST. HE WILL LOVE THE BOY TOO, AND THEREFORE YOU MUST ALWAYS TRUST HIM AND HELP HIM WHEN HE NEEDS YOU. THE THIRD YOU WILL SEE IS NOT YET READY TO KNOW YOU. YOU MUST RUN WHEN YOU SEE HIM. HE STILL CARRIES A TRACE OF THE POISON INSIDE HIM. WHEN YOU SEE HIM AGAIN, HE WILL FINALLY BE FREE OF THE POISON ENTIRELY AND THEN YOU MAY TRUST HIM AS WELL. THE WOMAN YOU WILL NOT SEE UNTIL YOU SEE HIM AGAIN, BECAUSE SHE HAS A HANDICAP THAT YOU ARE NOT READY TO SEE YET. SHE BELONGS TO THE POISONED ONE. SHE ALSO LOVES THE BOY.'

'YOU ARE TO PLAY A GREAT PART IN A GREAT SAGA. HURRY NOW, THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE. YOU MUST GO TO THE BOY NOW. HE LIES SLEEPING JUST BEYOND THIS EDGE OF THE FOREST.' Kixarro felt himself moving and then finally was able to move on his own, somehow knowing the way to go. Just as Gan told him in his head, there lay a sleeping boy. 'HE IS EVERYTHING YOU LOST WRAPPED UP IN ONE BIG PACKAGE,' Gan chuckled to Kixxaro. 'LOOK AT HIM, AND FEEL JOY AND SAFETY.'

He looked at the boy's blond head, his sleeping face and his gently curled fingers. Kixxaro sniffed at him and only smelled pleasantness, sunshine and fresh air on his skin. He saw peace and innocence in him, and just as Gan said, he felt joy, and he felt safe. He could hold back no longer, and he licked the boy's sleeping face once. Kixxaro's eyes shone with hope and unshed tears of happiness. He nuzzled the boy's neck and then the boy awoke. Kixxaro couldn't really speak to him, but he didn't want the boy to be afraid of him either. He did the only thing he knew to do, he wagged his tail.

The boy looked at some band he had on his wrist, and then sighed. He looked back at the Cotja and said quietly, "How you doin, boy?"

Immediately, as if Gan had put the word in his mouth like a wrapped present that only the boy's voice could open, out popped "Oy!" in a hoarse voice filled with joy. The boy recoiled a bit, which frightened the already nerve wracked Kixxaro. He wanted to run away, but Gan had told him to bond with the boy, and so he decided to stay and simply wag his rear end faster.

"This one remembers men," and then the Cotja saw the Gunslinger. He saw the sandalwood grip on the weapon on his hip and could wag his tail in nervous joy. 'MARK THEM WELL KIXXARO. BURN THEIR FACES INTO YOUR MIND. THESE ARE THE ONES YOU WILL ASSISST IN SAVING THE TOWER.'

"What is it?" the boy asked. He was staring at the little creature with awe. "Its eyes are beautiful!"

"Billy bumbler."

"Umber!" Kixxaro said forcefully, feeling like he needed to leave then, because of that foul term he'd been called. Damn it, he was a prince of the Cotja tribe, not a meer "billy bumbler" made for the amusement of Dominator children. How and why would Gan do this to him?

'YOU MUST KNOW THAT THE GUNSLINGER KNOWS NOTHING OF YOUR TRIBE. HIS WORLD FELL A LONG TIME AGO IN A PLACE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF. THE COTJA THERE ACCEPTED THEIR STATUS AS BUMBLERS. THESE HUMANS DO NOT USE IT IN HATRED, THAT IS THE ONLY NAME THEY KNOW YOUR KIND BY.'

"It talks!" The boy's eyes were practically dancing in the foggy pre-dawn. Kixxaro felt like he could stare forever into those loving joyful eyes. Gan filled his mind with images of the future. He saw himself sleeping next to the boy, warm and not hungry, happy and safe. He saw him and the boy playing along the trails to the tower, playing with a stick or a deerskin ball. He wished for the third person, the one with the poison, to stay away as long as possible so that he could truly bond with the boy and the gunslinger.

"Not really. Bumblers just repeat what they hear-or used to. I haven't heard one do it in years." The gunslinger regarded Kixxaro with his weary, ice blue gaze. "This fellow looks almost starved. Probably came to forage."

Without removing his eyes from the little Cotja, the boy said, "He was licking my face. Can I feed it?"

"We'll never get rid of it if you do. Hey! Billy!" the gunslinger snapped his fingers at Kixxaro.

He mimicked the snapping sound perfectly, and repeated back, "Ay! Ay, Illy!" He was practically dancing back and forth his tail was wagging so fast. He was filled with joy and love for the boy, mostly thanks to Gan's mental invasion, but also because he saw in the boy's eyes his loss, and also his love. He'd seen it for himself without Gan's help.

"Go ahead and give it a bite. I knew an old groom once who said a good bumbler is good luck. This looks like a good one." The gunslinger looked at Kixxaro with eyes that wanted to stroke the Cotja's fur. Gan flashed images of that very thing happening as if to confirm his thoughts.

"Yes, it does," The boy agreed, moving slowly so as not to frighten the creature.

"Once they were tame, and every barony had half a dozen roaming around the castle or manor house. They weren't good for much except amusing the children and keeping the rat population down."

Kixxaro tuned him out at that point, hating what his befouled ancestors had done to their proud race's name. 'Gan, are you sure this man is to be trusted?'

'YOU CAN TRUST HIM WITH YOUR LIFE, YOUNG ONE. I ASSURE YOU HE DOES NOT SPEAK AS HE DOES OUT OF SPITE.'

"-pain in the ass." The gunslinger concluded.

"Ass!" Kixxaro cried with a sense of enjoyment. At least they knew where they both stood with each other. His eyes flicked back and forth between the boy and the rough looking man, burning their faces and Gan's memories into his brain. The boy was reaching into a pack slowly, fishing around for something and finally finding it. It smelled like deer meat, but it was wrapped in a leaf. The boy tossed it Kixxaro, and it startled him, so he moved back a step and continued to wag his tail there.

"Come on. Eat it, boy." The boy said.

"Oy!" Kixxaro replied, still unsure of this gift he'd just received.

"Give it time. It'll come, I think."

The smell of the meat was intoxicating after days with nothing in his belly but anger and sadness. The leaf was a problem though, and so Kixxaro used his delicate and sore fingers to gently separate the meat from the leaf. And then he swallowed the meat whole. He looked at the boy with gratitude and said the only thing he knew to say thanks: "Oy!"

"That's a skinny one," a third voice said, and Kixxaro knew it was time to flee. But he didn't go far. He retreated into the mist far enough to avoid being seen, but he wanted to listen a little while longer.

"You scared it away!" his boy yelled. He sounded angry.

"Jeez, I'm sorry! If I'd known it was one of your close personal friends, Jake, I would have dragged out the coffee cake."

So his boy's name was Jake. Jake, Jake, Jake. Don't forget his name is Jake. Rhymes with heartache. Just like we both have, and we're going to cure it for each other.

"It'll be back."

"Are you sure?" Jake asked, already you could hear the longing in his voice for the worn out Cotja.

"If something doesn't kill it, yes. We fed it didn't we?"

And then there was a noise the "umber" hadn't heard before. It sounded like thunder that was never ending and in a recognizable pattern. It frightened him, and he couldn't move, afraid to get too far away from his new family, and too afraid to wind up getting closer to whatever that was. He was glued to the spot he now sat in.

"You still don't have any idea what that is, Roland?" a woman's voice asked. _That's the fourth member_ , Kixxaro thought. _That's the handicapped one_.

"No," he heard the gunslinger say, "But I'm sure we'll find out." So the gunslinger's name was Roland. Roland and Jake, Roland and Jake, Oh by Gan how our three hearts ache.

He heard them packing up their camp and getting ready to be on the move. They didn't seem to be afraid of the thunder sound, and so he relaxed a bit and was able to move again. In fact, now that he seemed to be fully awake and fully aware of what had been happening, he was compelled more than ever before to go back to the stream that he had been following. Upon reaching it he saw that the once shallow stream seemed to have broadened and deepened a little, and there were some small fish lazily swimming. Kixxaro ate well, nearly gorging on the fish. Once he was full, Gan set him to a restful, dreamless sleep and instructed him that when he woke that he would be able to smell the trail of his new family and that he should follow them wherever they go.

'KIXXARO, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF YOUR NEW FAMILY.'

"Who am I to ever doubt what Gan sets before me. I think I am going to love the boy as you say. I can see he is a good human."

'I ASSUME YOU ARE HAPPY THEN?'

"Oh yes, I am very happy. I only wish I could have stayed with them from the start."

'THEY STILL NEED TIME. _ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER_. SOMEONE ON ANOTHER LEVEL OF THE TOWER SAID THAT.'

Kixxaro yawned. "Gan, can I ask you something, another favor if I may be so greedy?"

'YOU MAY ASK, BUT I MAY OR MAY NOT GRANT IT.'

"Can you help me forget? It all hurts inside so badly. I don't want to keep remembering how bad it hurts. I don't want to remember anything about anything. I only want to hear your voice when I need to, and to live the rest of my days with Roland and Jake and the other two."

Gan was silent for a while. Then he finally said, 'YOUNG ONE, IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU NOT FORGET THE PAIN THAT YOU'VE SUFFERED. IT IS WHAT KEEPS YOU GROUNDED AND KEEPS YOU FROM MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES MORE THAN ONCE. I KNOW THE LOSS OF YOUR MOTHER WHEN YOU WERE BUT A CHILD, AND THEN THE MURDERS OF YOUR FATHER AND SISTERS PAINS YOU DEEPLY, AND IT HURTS ME TO SEE YOU SO. I HAVE DECIDED TO BURY THOSE MEMORIES DEEP, DEEP IN THE SHADOWS OF YOUR MIND, IN THE FARTHEST CORNER OF YOUR HEART. YOU WILL RETAIN THE KNOWLEDGE, BUT IT WILL NOT PAIN YOU ANYMORE. WHEN YOU AWAKE YOU WILL BE FREE IN YOUR MIND AND HEART AGAIN. AFTER THAT WE MAY NOT SPEAK FOR A LONG TIME. BUT I WILL RETURN WHEN IT IS TIME. NOW SLEEP MY SON. SLEEP AND REST AND KNOW THAT YOUR TOMORROW IS NOW TODAY.'

"Thank you for all you've done Gan." He yawned again. "I am forever grateful." The bumbler fell quietly asleep and rested for a very long time.

When he woke again he set out to join his new family, and finally caught up to them on the outskirts of what appeared to be an abandoned city. He stayed back, wanting to give the group enough time to know he was there without scaring any of them, and also to sniff all the new smells he was smelling. At one point he saw them stop and ready their guns, their voices barely a whisper in the wind. He got within 10 feet and laid down with his snout on his paws resting while they discussed what to do next.

And then the most wonderful thing happened.

"Oy!" Jake called.

"Oy!" Kixxaro echoed. He got to his feet and trotted a little closer behind them, having been renamed and officially adopted.

He had a family again.


End file.
